Conflict Mode – Safety & Realignment

Conflict Mode is the mediator stance of HCS.

Where Stabilization Mode focuses on repairing functions and agreements, Conflict Mode asks:

“Given the tension, mistrust, or hurt we’re facing now,
how do we restore enough safety and realignment for cooperation to be possible again?”

It focuses on making conflict visible, safe to work with, and structurally actionable – without collapsing into blame or pretending nothing is wrong.

Conflict Mode is not about winning arguments or forcing agreement.
Its purpose is to protect people and the system long enough to decide whether to stabilize, grow, or reset.

When Conflict Mode Is Active

You are in Conflict Mode when:

• Tension and frustration are no longer incidental, but recurring and emotionally charged.
• The story about the other party shifts from “they are confused” to “they are unreasonable / careless / malicious”.
• People are saying or implying things like:
• “I can’t trust them anymore.”
• “We tried to fix this, but they always go back to the same behavior.”
• “I don’t feel safe raising this in the open.”
• “At this point, I’d rather go around them.”

Typical entry signals:

• Repeated escalations with no lasting resolution.
• Meetings where the real conversation happens after the meeting, in side channels.
• Individuals showing signs of withdrawal, resentment, or burnout.
• “Us vs them” narratives hardening between roles, teams, or organizations.

If issues are mostly about unclear structure and expectations, you are likely still in Stabilization Mode.
If the cooperation contract itself is fundamentally invalidated (e.g., strategy, budget, or purpose has changed drastically), Reset Mode may be more appropriate.

Core Objectives of Conflict Mode

Conflict Mode has three main objectives:

1. Restore Minimum Psychological Safety
2. Create conditions where people can speak about the conflict
   without fear of retaliation, humiliation, or dismissal.

3. Make it possible to distinguish between:

   • what happened,
   • how it was experienced, and
   • what it means for cooperation.

4. Clarify What the Conflict Is Really About

5. Separate:
   • structural issues (roles, decisions, incentives),
   • relational issues (trust, respect, fairness),
   • and individual issues (capacity, fit, behavior).

6. Identify which levels of the Pyramid and which Extended Needs are actually at stake.

7. Decide Whether to Repair, Contain, or Reset

8. Agree on whether:
   • the relationship should be repaired and stabilized,
   • boundaries should be tightened or cooperation reduced,
   • or the cooperation contract should be significantly redefined or ended.
9. Prevent ongoing harm while this decision is being made.

Conflict Mode does not assume that reconciliation is always possible or desirable.
It aims for honest, humane decisions about what the system can and should sustain.

Core Model Focus in Conflict Mode

Conflict Mode mainly surfaces Level 1–2 issues that have accumulated over time, often disguised as Level 3–4 problems.

• Level 1 – Preconditions for Cooperation

• Conflicts frequently reveal that:

  • purpose is no longer shared (or was never truly aligned),
  • interdependence is resented or denied,
  • communication channels are weaponized or avoided,
  • trust foundations have eroded,
  • change is experienced as unilateral imposition rather than shared reality.

• Level 2 – Core Human Needs for Cooperative Work

• In conflict, these needs are often at the heart of the pain:

  • Shared Understanding – “We don’t even agree on what happened.”
  • Mutual Commitment – “We are carrying more risk/effort than they are.”
  • Feedback Loops – “It’s not safe to tell the truth.”
  • Distribution of Roles – “We are treated as less important/less competent.”
  • Autonomy & Agency – “Decisions that affect us are made without us.”

• Level 3 – Cooperative System Functions

• Certain functions are usually under severe strain:
  • Problem Discovery – the conflict itself is poorly framed.
  • Monitoring & Feedback – signals have been ignored or punished.
  • Enablement & Empowerment – some parties feel structurally disempowered.
  • Adaptation & Learning – old harms repeat because learning is not integrated.

Level 4 and Level 5 (practices and meta-practices) are not the primary levers in Conflict Mode.
Retrospectives, workshops, or process changes can support the work, but they are not the work.

Extended Dynamics in Conflict Mode

Conflict Mode is where Extended Conditions and Extended Needs are most visible and sensitive.

Typical Extended Conditions:

• Contextual
• External pressure, scarcity, or high stakes increase emotional load.

• Conflicting narratives about what “reality” is (market, risk, importance).

• Relational

• Past disappointments and perceived betrayals accumulate into stories.

• Cross-team stereotypes (“they always…”, “they never…”).

• Structural

• Power asymmetries (who can say no, who can walk away).

• Incentives that reward behavior harmful to cooperation.

• Developmental

• Old conflicts that were patched but not resolved.
• Patterns of avoidance or forced “harmony” instead of genuine repair.

Typical Extended Needs stressed:

• Trust & Safety
• Fear of speaking honestly; expectation that vulnerability will be used against someone.

• Sense that rules are not applied fairly.

• Recognition & Belonging

• Feeling disrespected, invisible, or treated as “less than”.

• Group identities hardening into camps.

• Autonomy & Coherence

• Feeling coerced or trapped in a system one cannot influence.
• Experiencing decisions as arbitrary or incoherent with stated values.

Conflict Mode uses these insights not to pathologize people, but to understand what it would take for cooperation to stop being experienced as harmful or illegitimate.

What to Prioritize in Conflict Mode

Prioritize:

• Stabilizing emotional and psychological safety
• Create spaces and formats where people can speak without immediate judgment or retaliation.

• Acknowledge impact before debating intent or “the facts”.

• Naming the conflict clearly

• Distinguish:
  • events,
  • interpretations,
  • and patterns over time.

• Agree on which issues are systemic and which are situational.

• Separating layers of the problem

• Untangle:
  • structural design issues (roles, decisions, incentives),
  • relational issues (trust, fairness),
  • individual issues (behavior, performance).

• Avoid collapsing everything into one explanation (“they are the problem”).

• Making harm visible

• Allow people to say what has felt harmful or unfair.

• Document this in a way that can inform structural decisions, not just emotional closure.

• Exploring options honestly

• Discuss what repair would require from each side.
• Consider containment or separation where repair is unrealistic.

What to Avoid in Conflict Mode

Avoid:

• Rushing to solution or compromise
• Quick deals that ignore underlying pain or power asymmetries will not hold.

• Premature “let’s move on” creates deeper resentment.

• Using process to bury conflict

• More meetings, rituals, or frameworks that never name the real issue.

• Forcing “professionalism” as a way to suppress emotional reality.

• Treating conflict as purely interpersonal

• Blaming individuals for behavior that is shaped by structure, incentives, or leadership signals.

• Sending people to coaching while preserving the system that generates the behavior.

• Weaponizing the Core Model

• Using HCS language to score points (“you’re breaking Level 2 again”).

• Turning diagnostics into an argument rather than a shared lens.

• Turning Conflict Mode into a permanent state

• Living in constant re-litigation without ever deciding to repair, contain, or reset.

Conflict Mode must be time-bounded and purpose-driven:
it is there to help the system decide what happens next.

Mode Transitions

Typical transitions into Conflict Mode:

• From Stabilization Mode, when attempts to fix structure keep surfacing strong emotions, mistrust, or narratives of unfairness.
• From Growth Mode, when expansion creates visible winners and losers, and tensions become personal.
• From Setup or Reset, when early expectations are violated in ways that feel like betrayal.

Typical transitions out of Conflict Mode:

• Into Stabilization Mode, when safety is restored enough to work on structure and functions again.
• Into Growth Mode, when conflict has been meaningfully addressed and relationships can support higher autonomy or speed.
• Into Reset Mode, when conflict reveals that the cooperation contract or context is no longer viable or legitimate.

Unhealthy patterns:

• Cycling between Conflict and Growth without Stabilization – trying to “grow through” unresolved pain.
• Ignoring the need for Reset when both sides know the cooperation should end or radically change.
• Treating Conflict Mode as a sign of failure instead of a necessary function in complex systems.

Summary

Conflict Mode makes cooperation safe to question.

It does not guarantee reconciliation or continued partnership.
Its role is to ensure that:

• harm and mistrust are acknowledged, not denied or minimized,
• structural, relational, and individual layers of the problem are distinguished,
• people can speak honestly without being punished for it,
• decisions about repair, containment, or reset are based on reality, not wishful thinking,
• the system can either stabilize, grow, or reset without carrying hidden fractures forward.

Used well, Conflict Mode turns inevitable tensions into moments of truth that either deepen cooperation or clarify that it must change – instead of letting conflict quietly hollow the system from within.